The common mentality in my home country of Iceland is that “Icelanders are hard workers” and “if you’re not working hard then you’re lazy.” That mentality is slowly changing, in large part thanks to the open discussion about mental illness and an increased focus on the importance of family, but I was raised with this strong work ethic. In fact, I always felt like my own worth was in direct proportion to the number of hours I worked. Not surprisingly, I worked long hours, and I would even judge anybody who didn’t work crazy hours as being lazy or lacking ambition. The word stress wasn’t in my vocabulary, and I never expected that it could cause me any harm. I was a hard worker, and I loved what I was doing, so there was no reason to worry about stress… or so I thought. Now I know better.
Stress and burnouts
Before I share with you some advice on how to avoid stress and burnouts, let us first take the time to better understand these words. Both of these terms have loosely defined meanings because it is difficult to quantify them, and in small quantities stress can be a good thing that motivates us to work harder. However, in larger quantities, it can have very harmful effects. The severity of burnouts can also vary tremendously, and therefore a burnout often depends on the individual and the circumstances. You can experience burnouts that last for a few hours or a few days where you just don’t have much energy and need to rest, but you can also experience more extreme burnouts that can lead to physical and mental illnesses and might leave you unable to work, stuck in bed for months. Because of the difficulties in defining these words, we must be careful about how we use them.
I like to think of stress as mental pressure, similar to the pressure we put on our muscles when we go to the gym. When we lift weights at the gym, we are in fact tearing down our muscles so they can then grow back stronger during the following days. For this process to be successful, we must give the muscles time to rest and grow back. If we don’t, then we risk damaging them. In the same way, putting a bit of pressure (stress) on your mind is okay, but if you put on too much pressure or for too long a time, you risk a burnout. When you sense that you are feeling too much stress or if you do get a burnout, then listen to what your body is telling you, take a step back from what you are doing, and give your mind a chance to recover. If you ignore these signs for too long, then you risk a serious burnout.
So here are some of the lessons I have learned from fighting stress and burnouts as a startup founder. Some of this advice might sound obvious, but sometimes the simplest and most obvious solutions are the best ones.
1. Good night’s sleep
Make sure to get enough sleep each night. How many hours depends on the person, but it’s usually between 6-8 hours. Depriving your body and mind of sleep won’t increase your efficiency; in fact, the reverse is true. The better you sleep, the more energetic and productive your day will be, and the healthier you’ll feel.
Good sleep is all about creating the right habits and a relaxed environment. You should usually try to sleep the same hours of the night each day, for example 11 pm to 7 am, and try to maintain that routine even on weekends. Once you have a set schedule, falling asleep and waking up will become much easier. Using blackout curtains can be a great way to help you get better, less interrupted sleep, and I would highly recommend buying a daylight alarm clock to make the transition from sleep to awake smoother and more comfortable. Make your bedroom a sleep (and intimacy) zone only. That means keeping the bedroom simple and minimalistic and never bringing in your work-related gadgets such as laptops, cell phones, tablets, etc. In fact, the only things that should be visible in your bedroom are a bed, a nightstand, a lamp, a daylight alarm clock, and a single novel you can read if you have trouble sleeping.
With these methods, you are taking control of your environment and structuring your sleep in a manner that will give you the best possible rest.
2. Meditation
I used to doubt that an activity that consisted of sitting and breathing could have an impact on my life. It felt like a waste of time, and I really didn’t have the time to waste. When I finally did give it a try, I was amazed at how much of an impact it had on me. We are often so busy with our lives that we go into autopilot and start doing things without even thinking about them, kind of like watching our lives on fast forward. By meditating, we are slowing our lives down to normal speed and becoming more conscious of what is happening around us. It gives us the chance to breathe and enjoy the beauty of life instead of running around like a chicken with its head chopped off.
So I would suggest you give it a try even if you have doubts about it. There are some very nice meditation apps that make it easy to start meditating, and you only have to give it 5-10 minutes a day, although doing more wouldn’t hurt. My favorite meditation apps for my iPhone are Stop, Breathe and Think and Mindfulness Daily, but there are also many other great apps out there.
3. Physical exercise
We live in comfortable times. We have roofs over our heads, heating, air-conditioning, easy access to food, and various other luxuries that make it easy for us to go through the day without having to use our bodies much. Because of this, our bodies start numbing up and even shutting down. Therefore, we need to find ways of stimulating our bodies, and the best way to do that is through exercise, as well as allowing them to feel cold, warm, hungry, tired, and alive. Go out for walks, runs, play basketball, swim, or do anything you enjoy, just make sure you get at least 20 minutes of exercise each day. I’ve also been slowly trying cold therapy, which consists of taking cold showers and ice baths. It’s supposed to help energize the body, but I’ll share more about that later on.
4. Share responsibility
Find the right people to work with, and if you’re founding a new startup, don’t do it by yourself. Find good people you trust to co-found the company with you. When a company starts to grow and expand into new markets, there is a lot of responsibility on the shoulders of the founders. By having co-founders, you are able to divide that responsibility instead of it all resting on your shoulders. I had no problem running a small company by myself, but as soon as I started working in more than one country, the whole thing became more than I could handle, and I wished I had co-founders with me. Don’t make the same mistake I did—find good people to work with from day one.
5. Have a life outside of work
I think this might be one of the most important lessons I’ve learned in the past few years. When you put all of your time and effort into building your company, you neglect your friends, family, and significant other, and that leads to your business becoming your whole life. In my case, I didn’t even have any hobbies or activities that weren’t directly related to my business, so when my company failed, my whole world crashed. Everything I had lived for over the last 6 years turned into nothing, and I didn’t know what to do with myself as I didn’t have anything else to focus on—no hobbies or friends that could take my mind off my failure. So even though it might be necessary to work long hours when you are first starting up your company, try to make sure you transition into regular working hours as soon as you can, as nobody can work 12-14 hour workdays forever. Work smart instead of hard and try to work no more than 8-9 hours per day, then spend the rest of your time with family and friends, doing things that make you happy.
6. Psychologist
Psychologists are specialized in helping people work through mental problems, so why not use these specialists when you’re having mental problems? You would call a plumber if your pipes were leaking, you would hire a mechanic if your car was broken, so why wouldn’t you see a psychologist if you’re not feeling well mentally? Are you worth less than your car or the pipes in your home? For some reason, I find that many people are embarrassed about seeing a psychologist, but in my opinion, it’s a sign of strength because the strongest people are the ones who are willing to work on themselves. It can take a few tries with different psychologists before you find the right one to work with, so I suggest you keep trying different ones until you find the one you feel comfortable with.
Regular appointments with psychologists can work as preventive measures, as we all have things we need to work on, whether we realize it or not. Then during difficult periods, you might have more frequent appointments while you work through the difficulties. A good psychologist will help you pinpoint the things you need to work on and then provide you with the right tools to handle them. One thing to keep in mind is that psychologists are not a quick fix. It will usually take about 10 sessions to work through any one issue, and most of us have more than one issue we need to address.
Many people rely on drugs to get them through stressful and difficult times, but I prefer to face my problems with the help of a psychologist, as I find that to be a more permanent solution. Drugs often just delay the problem to a later date, although sometimes you need both.
7. Listen to your body
The final and maybe most important thing is to listen to your body and your mind. Before you burn out, you will get multiple warning signs from your body telling you that you should slow down. Keep an open mind and listen to these warning signs.
Good luck
Try to live a balanced life and take good care of yourself. Having to go through painful burnouts is very difficult, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Hopefully, the lessons mentioned here will help you avoid the pain of such burnouts, but if you do happen to experience one, keep in mind that your body and mind are exhausted after too much pressure for too long. Give yourself the necessary time to recover and recharge before you start working on fixing the problem. There is nothing wrong with taking time off to recover from such an illness. Burnouts are not a sign of weakness—they are an illness that comes from being too ruthless with yourself for too long. Just as with any other illness, there is nothing wrong with taking the necessary time to recover. You might need to take a few days, a few weeks, or even a few months to recover properly before being able to start working on the problem, and that’s okay. Try to find the right psychologist to work with to get you back on track, and expect that the process of working through this might take months. You overdid it with work and stress, and now you must pay the price.
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